weirded out a bit

Rakka's brother is having a kid. He's apparently planning on naming it after a barbecue restaurant, which is almost as bad as that kid named Urine (pronounced \yər-een-ee\)*.

Rakka, quite naturally, thinks this is stupid and wants to put a stop to it. There's also the general desire to combat the uncool upbringing that inherently goes along with being named after a place that slow cooks meat.

That's not the weird part; the weird part is coming up.

The brother and the fetus (and the mother too, I suppose) are 2-3 thousand miles away. This means the primary way to combat the uncool is to shower cool baby stuff on the soon-to-be-born. Since the news of the name came in, I've been hearing every day about cool baby stuff from my GF.

That's the source of the weirding out. I know plenty of people with kids who are cool. But it's not for me. I know it's not for Rakka, either. I mean, it's really really not. For all the stuff we don't have in common, it's the really important stuff like this that brought us together. Still, hearing all the time about which hat would look good on the baby (mohawk or monkey ears), and the best bang for the buck in terms of onesies (rocker slogans, not withstanding)... well, it freaks my shit.

* True story, hand of god

11 comments:

r4kk4 said...

if you think i'm bad now, you should see what would happen if they tried to name nephew fetus after their favorite nascar driver!

it would be an all out war. trenches would be involved.

r4kk4 said...

also? i don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no babies and it's fucking staying that way.

Chris said...

Oh but you guys would make the _cutest_ parents :)

Irregular Shed said...

From experience, it's the weirdest thing. Having a kid changes you in ways you swear you'd never allow yourself to be changed. (I was up at 7:30 last Sunday morning, for gawd's sake!)

Anyway, I think sometimes it's the people who don't want to be parents who do the best job of finding gifts for kids; or maybe it just the absolutely-no-way non-parents I know =) It tends to be that they refuse to be drawn into adulthood, remaining kidults instead, and as such buy naturally awesome things that they'd like with no concern over whether the child in question would care for it - because they KNOW it's cool, it's worth getting.

As a result Jack has cuddly spiders, awesome cars and some mental t-shirts, and that rocks.

Plus there's the fact that Jayney and I are kidulty as well, so he's also got a crocheted cactus, and when he plays with his penguins he generally has them get in a car to drive to a castle where they eat toast and drink tea, because that's the best things in life: tea, toast and castles.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this comment any more. Get the Foetus-in-law a chemistry set and a copy of the Anarchist's Cookbook and rest on your laurels.

Man, I'm so incoherent today. Enjoying seeing you blog again though!

r4kk4 said...

you guys are nice and all but i'm pretty sure that i would have a hostile womb. or, at the very least, i would be hostile about having something in my womb. ;D


i wouldn't give half a toss what my bro was doing, shed, if i didn't know how hard it is to get out of rural appalachia. the name they've chosen ties him inexorably to place. all i'm asking for is something that's not going to disadvantage the nephew fetus out of the gate.

why am i still talking? HAHAHAHA!

Irregular Shed said...

Jayney had a hostile womb, hence Jack being pulled out by emergency C-section five weeks early =/ Turns out she's got a rare condition where the womb is a funny shape, sort of heart shape, so he got trapped in one part and couldn't grow any bigger...

I know that's not what you mean, but it's one of a half-dozen reasons why Jack's going to be an only child. (My loose-grip on sanity being another one - meh!)

Alex Loddengaard said...

At least it's not "Moon Unit" or "Apple."

r4kk4 said...

i'm sorry, shed. i really did't mean to poke fun at a serious condition. :(

it's worse than apple or moon unit, alex which is why i haven't mentioned the name i public.

Irregular Shed said...

S'alright, ducks. It was only serious for Jack, and he turned out fine =)

r4kk4 said...

that is totally true! :D!

he's the best argument i've ever seen for having children! :D!

leff said...

Shed Said: "Having a kid changes you in ways you swear you'd never allow yourself to be changed."

I know, Shed. I know if I had a kid I would love it and devote my whole life to it. That's why I'm avoiding it so much.

Chris, cute couple is good enough for me :)

Alex, "Moon Unit" at least has a pedigree of sorts...